Welcome to the Real World

      Hello! Future Professors, Teacher Assistants and counselors. After reading this letter of convincing and remarkable literature you believe that I am some sort of God. That this young man has what it takes, that he is the profit of life. I have walked the sands of time. I have watched God undress and create the morning. I have danced from dusk till dawn across the Sahara Desert. The Queen bows to me.
      My life is a never ending, winding road, where each turn is a new adventure and every hill is a challenge that I will over come. I have climbed Everest dressed as a Stormtrooper. There is no women that can ignore my charismatic ways and my devilishly handsome face, with my beautiful brown hair. I am Justin Bieber. I do not believe in cutting down tree's to make pointless paper and cardboard. Why? because paper cuts are the most brutal and infuriating wounds to have ever been experienced by man. I once wrestled with a Giraffe. BABY, BABY, BABY OH! I once cut down a Cedar Tree with a jug of Koolaid. I do not believe in religion, relgion believes in me. Sometimes when i go home I pretend im a cat and make pancakes. MEOW. One time I even read the whole Harry Potter Saga in under seven minutes. I once faught 300 Spartans with a toothbrush and Bobby pin. I won. You are probably wondering who is this wonderboy? Why is he so amazing? Well ladies and Gentlemen I am Ian Ellison one of the knites of the round table the man who convinced Alexzander The Great to pull the sword from the stone to find the holy grail. I was also the man who was smart enough to kill him and steal all his treasures as soon as he found them. I rule camalot.
Bow before your king! Bow before excelence! Bow before the future! Now let me in your school you poor pessents.